Stages of Relationship Disintegration

We’ve all asked THAT question: 

“What ever happened to your friend?” 

“Why did they break up?” 

“You don’t talk to them anymore?” 

“Why are they still married if they can’t ever talk to each other?” 

“Why are they estranged from their family?” 

If we take the relationship development model, we flip it to create the relationship disintegration model: When I feel as though my intrapersonal needs are not being fulfilled in the relationship, I believe that it’s imbalanced (differentiating). I begin to limit my needs disclosure and effective feedback (circumscribing). As a result, the trust in our relationship no longer develops (stagnating). We have reduced interactions (avoiding) which lead to an eventual end of the relationship (terminating). Regardless of whether or not we see each other again, we “live on” as emotional baggage. Throughout the duration of our relationship disintegration, we will always be revising as our communication contexts will change. 

In our lives, relationships will develop and disintegrate. It’s inevitable! Remember time changes and our contexts change, and in some instances, the relationships can no longer thrive. While it’s probably not worth dwelling on it, it is important to do that self-check. 

-Did they meet my needs, and did I meet theirs? 

-What feedback could I ensure I communicate in my current relationships?