The Impression That I Get

As individuals, do we truly reveal ourselves upon an initial meeting?

This is what has been bogging my mind within the last month- since I've begun my new position. I am not only in a new role, but a new building, new co-workers and new chances to make a "good impression." A fresh start when nobody can pre-judge you. In theory, I am fully in control of how I act and speak. However, as it's been stated, these interactions are not sole exchange of words and actions in a vacuum. To build upon on communication model, I'm now adding layers around our exchange. These layers are environmental, social, temporal, physical and psychological- and these are all surrounded by culture. Given these considerations, are these first impressions really a clean slate?

For my new position, I was introduced to several co-workers. A few of these co-workers, that were already in the team, were informed of my incumbency. I'm unsure if they were given details, if any, of my character from others who already met me. If they were informed, then my introduction wasn't exactly fresh. Another co-worker started the same day as me, and we were unaware of our incumbencies or previous roles in the company. Our introduction wasn't pre-framed or pre-judged. In both cases, however, these interactions were still contextually framed. What if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or was running late to work? My stress would influence these interactions. Or what if I had low self-esteem? That, too, would set the tone for introductions. 

Let's take another example- a first date. That's already a stressful situation before looking at any what interactions (between Date A and Date B) take place. What if Date A had a fight with a parent, has a bad habit of biting his/her nails or there's major traffic en route to Date B's house? What if the conversation starts to steer to "off" topics such as politics and religion? What is Date B keeps checking his/her phone? What if there's a hail storm? All the while, both parties are wondering what the other is thinking. Date A drops Date B back at the house, and they kiss. Were they satisfied by the date? Did any of these factors taint the first date and ruin the possibility of a second?

In both examples, I brought up various contexts in which interactions are framed. The stress from traffic, for example, is temporary. Low self-esteem, however, is not. While we can't control traffic patterns and weather, we can take steps towards working on ourselves.

Conversely, first impressions can be deceiving. "Honeymoon" as the saying goes, before reality sets in. The perfect facade fades before true colors are revealed. 

Going back to my first question: as individuals, do we truly reveal ourselves upon an initial meeting? My answer would be yes, but like the traffic and weather, we change too. It's important to recognize this and work towards being your best self and respecting the journeys of others on their quests in life (even if you don't like what you see). You shouldn't have to "put on" a good face- reveal your true best self. That's the only control you have.